what sarah said
and it came to me then that every plan
is a tiny prayer to father time
as I stared at my shoes in the ICU
that reeked of piss and 409
and I rationed my breathes as I said to myself
that I'd already taken too much today
as each descending peak of the LCD
took you a little farther away from me
amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
in a place where we only say goodby
it stung like a violent wind
that our memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds
but I knew that you were a truth
I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all
and I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
as the TV entertained itself
cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
and then the nurse comes round
and everyone will lift their heads
but I'm thinking of what Sarah said that
"love is watching someone die"
so who's going to watch you die?




we'll pretend that it meant something so much more